Tuesday, February 27, 2007

What's another name for a human pyramid?

A summit.
This is why I love college sports. Dickie V. I love you!

Monday, February 26, 2007

And the award for best use of text messaging in a film goes to...

The DEPARTED, of course.
I didn't watch the Oscars, so what I'm saying is totally unsubstantiated and biased. Pretty much like it always is. But here are my humble thoughts on the night that all of Lakewood lives for:

The Hair
First of all, it seems that long, straight hair is back. Yeah. After four years of Terry Hatcher inspired, very difficult to execute spirals, it appears that straighter heads prevailed, ie, Nicole Kidman, Gwyneth, and Reese. (On another note, it seems that Philip Seymour Hoffman and Nicole Kidman are both on tract to be completely bald by 2020). There were some exceptions, such as Naomi's gorgeous curls. Is their a way I can get a hair transplant from her? I would die a happy woman.

The gowns were typical. Cate looked fab, but her dress had a Halloween vibe. Rachel Weisz brought it. Gwyneth wore a bra and found how out how wonderful it looked. Helen Mirren is babe, and looked both age appropriate and young (seriously, amazing), while Jodie Foster is looking like the old dike people say she is. JLO and Niaomi Watts both looked pregnant. And Penelope Cruz wore a gown that looked like it was designed by Sir Mixalot ( I like big...). Jessica Biel needs to wear a bra.

The men looked pretty fabulous, but whats up with the greased back hair; I love it on Michael Corleone, but Toby Maguire, don't even think about it. I get it with Leo (he likes to see his own reflection in his hair), but come on George. Your better than that. There were lots of great baldies this year (Forrest and Will to name a few). Jackie wasn't one of them. He looked like a deranged Mr. Clean. Tom Cruise looked good and sufficiently not crazy. Lastly, Markie Mark rocked my world. (What's new).
About the movies
Scorsese won an Oscar the same year Peyton won a Super Bowl. Where's Karl Malone? I'm stoked about the Departed. I still need to see most of those movies.
Finally, who told her she could come.

Monday, February 19, 2007

That's so Michigan...

Tom Brady has knocked up his ex girlfriend, Mrs. Big. Here are two funny takes on Mr. Golden Boy's less than golden timing (I guess he really can march down the field in the final moments):
1. His similarities to that other devil school's over-hyped qb.
2. Some very funny fake quotes in the bottom right under oddities.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Love at 181 mph

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Spring training

The superbowl confetti has settled and the combine is still two weeks away, baseball will have to fill my sports void. The sport has obliged me with two great stories.

1.His Gradyness-
In 2006, Grady Sizemore led the American League in runs scored (134), doubles (53) and extra-base hits (92). Granted, 92 extra-base hits isn't as impressive as it once was. In 1995, Albert Belle became the first American Leaguer since 1940 to top 90 extra-base hits, but since then it's been done nine times in 11 seasons.

What's really impressive is the sort of player Sizemore is: powerful enough to collect 92 extra-base hits and speedy enough to bat leadoff. In fact, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, those 92 long hits were the highest total for a major league leadoff man since at least 1957. Also last season, Sizemore became the second player in major league history to finish with at least 50 doubles (actually 53), 10 triples (11), 20 homers (28) and 20 steals (22) in the same season. The first was Phillies outfielder Chuck Klein, who played in the 1930s, and his home ballpark was the prototypical bandbox.

Granted, Sizemore's statistical blend of power, speed and defense in 2006 doesn't mean he's the equal of -- let alone better than -- Ty Cobb and Willie Mays, just because he's done something that they didn't do, precisely. Mays never hit 50 doubles in any season. He did hit more than 10 triples in five seasons and more than 40 home runs in six seasons. He stole more than 30 bases in three seasons. Statistics do not lie, but they can be misleading.

Grady Sizemore led all American League center fielders with a .375 OBP in '06.
Statistically, only one player in major league history is truly similar -- considering the raw stats -- to Sizemore through his age 23 season (2006). That player is Duke Snider, who, like Sizemore, played sparingly in the majors at 21, emerged as a top center fielder at 22, and became a legitimate star at 23. While it's hard to imagine Sizemore's someday rivaling Cobb and Mays for the affections of baseball historians, it does not seem far-fetched to suggest that Sizemore might really be considered in Snider's class. And Snider's in the Hall of Fame.

Perhaps what's most interesting about Sizemore is that few saw him coming. Yes, the Indians were thrilled when they picked him up in the 2002 trade that sent Bartolo Colon to the Expos. But after Sizemore completed that season, all of which he spent in Class A, the mavens at Baseball America did not rank Sizemore among the game's top prospects. The next season, though, he did establish himself as the Indians' No. 1 prospect. I asked the club's assistant general manager, Chris Antonetti, when they realized just how good Sizemore might be.

"It is difficult to pinpoint a specific moment," Antonetti wrote in an e-mail message on Tuesday. "Even before we traded for him, we knew that Grady was an exceptional person and competitor with tremendous athletic ability. While we certainly liked his baseball skills and thought he had a chance to be a very good player at the time of the trade, I can't tell you that we thought he would be among the best players in baseball. To his credit, Grady has achieved to his remarkable potential through an unrelenting work ethic, incomparable intensity and dedicated commitment to the game. He is a special talent but an even more impressive person, teammate and competitor."

Of course, there are a lot of impressive players in professional baseball, and few of them develop as Sizemore has. You pay your money and take your chances, and the acquisition of Sizemore might someday be hailed as one of the cannier in this century.

In terms of both ability and performance, then, Sizemore is "hot." (DUH!) But that's not the only reason he's the subject of this essay. He had the ability and the performance last year, and few fans outside of Cleveland and fantasyland even noticed. What makes Sizemore hottest is his team, which is poised to jump from fourth place to first place. If that happens, people are going to be looking for explanations, and "Grady Sizemore" is the best candidate, given his youth, his talent, and (yes) his looks.

But a baseball career is not a mirrored ladder, with the first half trending inexorably upward, the second half downward. The general trends might look like that -- actually, we know they do -- but if you graph a player's performance by age, you'll see what looks like a staircase that isn't sure what it's trying to do. What's most likely is that Sizemore, like Snider before him, will drop off some in his third full season, if only because his 2006 was so brilliant that a repeat is unlikely. He will rank as one of the best players in the American League, and at this point the only question is how long it takes before everybody knows it.

2. A truly amazing story. I know this isn't the manwall, but this man will get his chance.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I like question 12 the best

From todays NYT
Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Who knew Kudrow could be so funny

Thursday, February 08, 2007

PastSexx

An interesting take on that boy Brittany used to date.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Nothing scares me more than reaping what I sow

You love the things I say I'll do
The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you
You take away when I give in
My life, my pride, is broken

Forfeit the game stop the talk show
Product the one you were taught to know
Forfeit the game cause tomorrow
When it's all done you reap what you sow

Monday, February 05, 2007

Wrecked

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my resistance will never be distance enough

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Out to Africa

I have always wanted to collect these. All I'll need now is a trip to Sierra Leone.

Friday, February 02, 2007

San Fran Style

Alex Smith was on Cold Pizza this morning, wearing an open oxford. it's on espn.com.